I'm typing this with one hand today. why?
This dog face seems to be on my lap/ laptop, right in the way of where my right hand would be for proper typing abilities.
That's okay, perhaps that means I'll be more motivated to focus on today's topic instead of my usual random weird tangentals. Clear and concise is supposed to be one if the signs of good writing, right?
Maybe for term papers.
Anyway, snuggles. I has them.
I also has Oreos. Though likely not for long. I haven't decided if that's good or not.
If you've been with us here at KpQuePasa for a while, you'll know that in the year leading up to our wedding, I made a point to lose some weight. Specifically
29 dreaded pounds, so I wasn't the "
fat" bride. You'd also know I totally rocked that goal.
I decided shortly after the wedding that I could keep this up. Not only could I maintain, but I could lose more. I gave myself a goal of getting to what a doctor would classify as a "healthy weight," and a pant size that might not look horrendous in skinny jeans - that remains to be seen. I no longer feel motivated to share those numbers on the world wide web with you, though I have them locked in my head. Which is not so much to put you off, as it is that I have never been real big on making my weight or how I manage it a talking point, and originally I only started the Dreaded 29 updates because I knew I needed help keeping myself accountable.
I don't consider myself on a diet. I did originally, but now I just like to think of it as "I don't eat crap for the sake of shoveling food in my mouth anymore." I think about the food that I put in my mouth, and try to ensure that it isn't pre-processed chemicals but rather came from an actual plant or critter that exists in nature. So those Oreos. Where do they come in?
If you've ever tried to put yourself on a better food-track, through diet or otherwise, you may subscribe to a similar thought process as myself. Which is that every once in a while, you have to give yourself a break. To just flat say "I shall NEVER have dessert again!" is not realistic. Maybe you have strong willpower, and I like to think I do. But if my grandmother, or The Mister's grandmother makes cookies or pie for me/ us, saying no thanks doesn't give me stronger will power, it just makes me a jerk. Plus, cookies made with love are calorie free, or so I've heard.
My problem has always been that when I take that break, it never looks like just a quick break. It comes out as a face plant in the dirt, which may require a trip to the dentist because I hit the ground just that hard.
I don't really care for chocolate (don't judge me, it just means there's more chocolate for you), but it seems my brain will make an exception for thin mints, peanut butter cups, and most of all, for Oreos. Especially double stuff Oreos. (I recently learned that they make MEGA-stuffed Oreos now. Seriously? It's just over.) When I break, it is typically because of one of these three things. Also sometimes pizza. Oh gosh pizza. Um, moving on.
Have you tried a diet or a "smarter eating habits"?
What makes you "fall off the wagon?"
The problem is that Oreos aren't reasonably sold in a single serving (which is 2 Oreos, according to the package, in case you were wondering.) They come in a bag shaped like a box, which holds 30 Oreos (or they come in a bag that holds 6, but that's just not cost effective when those 6 cost a dollar and 30 costs only 3 dollars, so I'm not going to talk about those because they're an abomination.) And when I feel that moment of weakness coming on, and I buy that bag/box, I seem to be entirely incapable of getting to a point where I say "oh, I have eaten enough of these, I will put the rest away for later."
Instead I eat the whole damn bag/box.*
In one sitting.
And almost immediately after I feel miserable and sick for about 24 hours.
Because when you finally train your body to properly process food that's really food, when you put the over-processed non-foodstuffs
(aka everything an Oreo is about) into your body, your stomach is going to pitch a fit.
Does this stop me? Well yeah. For about a week.
How do you motivate yourself to "get back on the wagon?"
I'm really asking. Tell me in the comments, I want to know!
*When I say I eat the whole bag/box, I mean I will open it and plunk down next to the Mister on the couch with a glass of milk, and when the Mister asks for ONE - ONE single cookie out of 30, something in my brain will snap and I will look at him with a face that is reminiscent of a rabid badger.
What best motivates me to keep on track, I believe, is that the Mister is a very social person. I'm a bit of a introvert, so I think back in the day I would have just been like "whatever I'll stay in and get tubbier again and whatever who's going to see me?" But the Mister is all "Hey I signed us up for a wine club that has regular events where you need to put yourself in a dress." And thus I'm all "oh shoot son, I gotta make sure my butt looks good at those moments."
Vanity has it's place, y'all.
So we have a new event coming up, and here we're getting to the point of the post. It's a MASQUERADE BALL. Folks, I can't even. It's like Halloween again! And I'm pumped. I went out and bought a bunch of those plastic Mardi Gras masks and I'm souping them up so The Mister and I can turn it out. Except we're having some issues deciding what we want to be. I figured let's have some fun and have the people vote!**
If you're not familiar, a Masquerade ball means you wear a mask to the event, but the rest of the attire is fairly formal. Usually they are half-masks that artistically mimic an animal. Cinderella's ball was a Masquerade. I don't think the Mister and I need to necessarily match in our choices of animal, because if I'm making both masks, they'll both look similar in style, and as they say on What not to Wear, you don't need to match, you need to go.
